I'm not into western medicine. That to me is a complete scare tactic.

I don't want to be a pessimist. I'm a realist. One man's realist is another man's pessimist.

I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.

If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it "proactive intelligence screening" or "high alert detecting", people would be saying "Well, it's about time".

Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant exploded, I returned abortions to back alleys where it belongs, my work here is done.' I think that's what he said, he was chewing a crayon.

I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies. I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder. If you look at it logically, it's something that was drilled into your head when you were a small child. It certainly was drilled into mine at that age. And you really can't be responsible when you are a kid for what adults put into your head.

I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.