Good presidents, people like George Bush, they SEND people to war. They don't bring them a rescue. This is America. We rescue insurance companies and banks.

The other guys are selling certainty. Not me. I'm on the corner with doubt.

Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there...it can make it anywhere!'

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he'd have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.

If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns.

Arnold was on the 'Today' show today, he was a little light on specifics. He said he could solve California's $38 billion budget deficit, without cutting spending or raising taxes because there was a third way. What is it? Let's just say it involves a robot going back in time to convince Gray Davis to go into dentistry.