I kid Fox News, but they may be a little biased. We had an earthquake here on Monday, and they reported that 'the earth's crust was emboldened by Obama's weakness.'

It just seems like the culture war is over, and the gay kissers won.

Between trying to impeach Bill Clinton, Florida 2000, and the recall in California, I'm beginning to think that Republicans will do anything to win an election-except get the most votes.

Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass, and it translate to beef with broccoli. The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was The Beatles.

Why are there so many puritans in this country, and why can't the rest of us make them go away?!

Don't get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.