It just seems like the culture war is over, and the gay kissers won.

I never hear terrorists say 'Merry Christmas,' only 'Allahu Akbar'.

I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting; who would vote for me?

Herman Cain answered the Wall Street protesters, and he had a message for these protesters. He said, 'If you don't have a job, if you're not rich, don't blame Wall Street, don't blame the banks, blame yourself.' And a nation of out of work teabaggers said, 'Yeah! Hey, wait a minute.'

What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down, but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally.

Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?

I do miss George Bush. Compared to these teabaggers and the people who are pandering to them, he looks like a professor.