The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.

Married men live longer. Yes. And an indoor cat also lives longer. It's a furball with a broken spirit, that can only look out on a world it can never enjoy. But it does technically live longer.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and she said, 'How am I supposed to fit all this crap on my hand?

All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex.

Life is not like a box of chocolates unless there's a few turds in the box.

The House okayed the gasoline tax cut, which will increase the deficit, line the pockets of the oil companies, and hurt the environment; Dole said that if there was just some way this could interfere with people's sex lives, it would be perfect legislation.