Disneyland's a mess. And it's not just the measles. Donald Duck has bird flu. Pocahontas has small pox. The Little Mermaid has crabs. And the Monorail? Mono.

I doubt anything will really come of this lawsuit. First of all, it's a lawsuit. It involves a subpoena. And try to find a Republican who will be willing to be seen serving a black man.

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.

You can't claim you're for peace if you're not willing to disturb it.

Only a Bush could answer a 'yes' or 'no' question two different ways and be wrong both times.

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

It's all been satirized for your protection.