In the Muslim world, much of it, they cannot conceive of something coming out of the United States that wouldn't be sanctioned by the government, because in their countries, everything is sanctioned by the government.

Oh, America! I could never leave you! You're like my dog, dumb as a post but you make me laugh!

There is good news. Scientists sent a probe down there in the Gulf of Mexico today and they found traces of seawater.

The rebel army in Libya is just like 1,000 guys in Toyota trucks. The world is asking the question; can 1000 anti-government guys in pick-up trucks with small arms, take over a country of millions? To which I say, ask the Teabaggers.

False hope really makes you cynical.

Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy.

I think religion is a neurological disorder.