Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.'

Eell there always is a tendency in human nature to deify.

Americans are desperately, here on the West Coast, buying up and hoarding iodine pills... Isn't it great that in a land that is divided between conservative morons and liberal pussies, somehow we have managed to find a way to pull together and behave like moronic pussies?

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and I was saying, 'Bring back the lip synch'... And it struck me that Ashlee Simpson is a lot like George Bush - because she wouldn't even really be in the big leagues if it wasn't for family connections, and she's in way over her head. And she doesn't know what to do. And she blamed her band.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Let us not become so tolerant that we tolerate intolerance.