A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid.

I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?

It's so childish, "greatest country in the world." It's like saying, "I have the greatest wife in the world. Not just the one best suited for me, the greatest wife in the world. And if you could have my wife, you'd kill your wife."

Tea Party has now cost the Republicans 5 senate seats. My next donation is going to them.

Also, in the category of 'obvious but still shocking,' an animal called a 'killer whale' killed someone who was trying to play with it. Now, no one knows exactly what enraged the whale, but earlier in the week, it had been thrown off a flight by Southwest Airlines.

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'

There are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage.