People say I'm into black women. Robert De Niro is into black women. I'm just into women who are real, and they happen to be black.

It's going to be Perry, it's going to be Romney...It's sort of a battle for the soul of the Republican Party - and they have no soul, but the space where a soul would be.

When the tabloids photograph me when I'm out, I always say: "You know what, folks? I'm not married and I'm not gay. You caught me with a hot chick. You got me. Take me to hot-chick jail. Did it again. Guilty."

Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.

I'm not defending what Cory Booker said. I'm saying I understand why he has to kiss the asses of the rich people on Wall Street, because there's no other way to keep his city afloat.

You can always tell when Obama's negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he's missing his watch and his lunch money.

We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.