We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.

I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting; who would vote for me?

In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of gay people in the Vatican, wouldn't there be a greater outcry among liberals?

Why are there so many puritans in this country, and why can't the rest of us make them go away?!

Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has. I'm not saying that I believe in that, I'm just saying he was born on a Mormon compound. I'm not a 'Wifer' but for some reason he's never shown his original marriage certificate.

This is America. We don't call an election before we know who won. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court.

Glenn Beck retired or got fired...and a lot of people are asking who will now speak for the raving lunatics who startle you outside of a parking garage?