Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There's no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It's just a shame that most of the people who follow him and call themselves Christians act nothing like him.

Don't vote for Republicans or Democrats until they clean up the open system of bribery that we live under.

When those myths were created, when the Bible was written, man didn't know what an atom or a germ was, or where the sun went at night, or why the women got pregnant. [Laughs.] They needed stories to answer the questions.

The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

In fact, because people are religious, they think they can do bad things.

And he said that 47%-that's pretty high-47% of Americans are basically welfare bums who are mooching off the government. And then he said, 'My job is not to worry about those people.' You know, where do people get this stuff that Mitt Romney is a heartless, calculating c**ksucker?