This is America. We don't call an election before we know who won. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court.
Bill MaherI want to thank some very special people without whom I would not be here today. George Bush, Sarah Palin and the Pope. When I came to Hollywood in 1983, I had one dream. To sleep with Jodie Foster. That didn't work out, but this is nice, too.
Bill MaherWhat kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie.
Bill MaherAll I'm saying, as a fan, is I'm tired of the same song for 30 years. Can't we change the message a little? You've arrived. You have a black president. Every white guy in a commercial doesn't have to be the idiot and every black guy in a rap song doesn't have to be God's gift to the world.
Bill Maher