Gordon Gekko was right: greed is good. Because, the potty-trained Republicans have now stepped forward - like the Koch brothers - to say, 'You know what? You yokels stop talking about defaulting on the debt, because I'm going to lose a fortune!'

Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don't pay attention.

Kids. They're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex.

If the Hamas people had the opportunity, they would kill the maximum number of Israelis, which would be all. And, Israel has the opportunity to kill way more, and they do not.

Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.

No politician is perfect. But in every election in your life, there will be one choice that is better than the others. Go out and vote for that one.

A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book is apparently called the Manhattan Telephone Directory.