The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

Remember, guns don't kill people - unless you practice real hard.

New Rule: I don't give two fingleberries and a McShit-all that Dumbledore is gay. I never wanted to know who Dumbledore was in the first place. Let alone his sexuality. What concerns me is adults who read 800-page books about magic schoolboys... and then try to talk to me about it. If I had the slightest interest in homosexuals with powers, I'd be a Republican.

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.

Oh, America! I could never leave you! You're like my dog, dumb as a post but you make me laugh!

Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you