The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.

Let's be honest, half the marriages end in divorce. For me, it's never made much sense. I have a girlfriend and I'm not interested in anyone else, but I still wouldn't want to bring the federal and state government into my life.

I would wager that the number of civilians that were killed [in] a typical week under Saddam Hussein was probably more than we killed during the weeks we were at war there.

It's so easy to demagogue the issue and make someone who speaks out against the internal-combustion engine sound like an insane communist, when the truth is that the internal-combustion engine is the biggest threat to my life in the next 25 years, in terms of what it's doing to our environment and how it's depleting the ozone layer and so forth.

[The Republicans] are always asking the Muslims to denounce their extremists. And I agree with them. But they don't take that note and do it among their own. They don't denounce their own extremists.

you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!