I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.

The answer isn't another pill. The answer is spinach.

Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.

Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control, you are birth control.

Why is monotheistic faith better than polytheistic? I mean, either you believe - if you believe in, like, a magic person who can do magic things, why is it different - so different if it's Superman or the Fantastic Four?

The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain.

Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full of wives?