I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.

I see they found out the universe is 80 million years older than we thought. It's also been lying about its weight.

New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: "We go beyond the headlines." That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, "We land our jets on the runway"!

Recently, there's been a trend in America that I find very disturbing... rewarding immoral and illegal behavior...For example, we now give free needles to junkies, which seems to me to be only a step away from giving condoms to rapists.

Community is gathering around a fire and listening to someone tell a story.

Some people think I enjoy debate. I don't. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.

George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.