Something wild can happen to anybody and I caution anybody that walks out on the street, just settle your accounts before you leave the house every day.

Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.

There are people who drove me crazy, but they got the job done. And when I see that person again, I nod my head. Respect.

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday.

I met a woman who photographed celebrity dogs for a book, and she told me that Ralph Lauren's dog is named Rugby. I said, Yeah, but his real name is Stickball.

You know how funerals are not for the dead, they’re for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they’re for the uncommitted.

Half of the people in this room are more dressed up than on any other day in the year, and the other half are more dressed down.