'Groundhog Day' was one of the greatest scripts ever written. It didn't even get nominated for an Academy Award.

You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey.

You know how funerals are not for the dead, they’re for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they’re for the uncommitted.

Eh, it's not that attractive to have a plan. I know that if I ever feel that I need to make a funny movie, I’ll figure out how to write one. I’ll get it done. If I ever get some ambition, I’m gonna get some shit done.

Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's usually something unusual.

I've got kids and that's important. It's funny, you think that there's an expiration date on them and there just isn't.

We're Americans! Do you know what that means? It means our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world.