Here's the thing, you just have to drive a lot faster, and if you don't get there, we're both fired.

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday.

Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.

I count on the kindness of strangers.

My first movie, I got nominated for a Canadian Oscar-for Meatballs. For MEATBALLS. And who am I up against? George C. Scott. So he wins the award and I stand up and go, 'That's it-let's get the hell outta here.'

The atheists traditionally hold their conventions from Good Friday to Easter Sunday during the hours Christ spent in the grave.

You’ll never be good if you don’t know that you are.