Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you've met and you're like, 'Yep, I like this one,' and you just do stuff with them.

Parties are only bad when a fight breaks out, when men fight over women or vice versa. Someone takes a fall, an ambulance comes, and the police arrive. If you can avoid those things, pretty much all behaviour is acceptable.

Life is a game, and it's much more fun if you play it as your own game, so stay light and loose and relaxed.

Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.

Disneyland. The world's biggest people trap, built by a mouse.

Religion is the worst enemy of mankind. No single war in the history of humanity has killed as many people as religion has.

It’s fun to watch someone like John Goodman, and yet it takes work. People say ‘he’s not acting, he’s being himself.’ Well it’s hard to be yourself, it’s the hardest job there is.