Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too?

I try not to break the rules, but merely to test their elasticity.

Suffering is overated.

It never ceases to amaze me how many of baseball's wounds are self-inflicted.

If you can't outsmart people, outwork them.

Baseball is the only thing beside the paper clip that hasn't changed

How can you be a sage if you're pretty? You can't get your wizard papers without wrinkles.