I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray. And that is how I got to where I find myself today.

You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.

Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.

Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!