Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?! Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to. Calvin: Oh.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Verbing weirds language.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.