I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.

Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.

The writing doesn't distract me while I'm drawing and vice versa. I can devote my full attention to each.

You never know when some crazed rodent with cold feet could be running loose in your pants.

Barney's Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said "Eat your peas." Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney's Mom never found out where he'd gone, Cause Barney didn't tell her. There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel With every bite for fifty years he was sorry he'd been cruel

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.