If you don't get a goodnight kiss, you get Kafka dreams.

Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.

Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.

Few things are less comforting than a tiger who's up too late.