Cleveland is a really hard place, it's a very creative place, it feeds you creatively, but it's a very hard place to make a living creatively.

The way Calvin's brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.

You can present the material, but you can't make me care.

I was offered a job at the Cincinnati Post as their editorial cartoonist in a trial six month arrangement. The agreement was that they could fire me or I could quit with no questions asked if things didn't work out during the first few months. Sure enough, things didn't work out, and they fired me, no questions asked.

It's only work if somebody makes you do it.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!