Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

I'm a misunderstood genius." "What's misunderstood?" "Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone. -Hobbes

[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It's me, Calvin! I was wondering if you'd like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don't think you've ever invited me to... Calvin's Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin's Mom: You're contagious! You can't have anyone over to play! Calvin: Shhhh! Shhhh! You'll spoil the whole thing! I was going to trick Susie into catching... HEY! OW! LET GO! Susie: [Hanging up the phone] Any chance of getting transferred, Dad?