Hey Dad, will you buy me a flame thrower? Of course not. Don't be silly. Even if I didn't use it in the house?

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN

I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.

But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!