There's more to this world than just people, you know.

Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?

Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I'm doing is saying I can be bribed.

I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.

I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

Dad: Honey, have you seen my glasses? I can"t find them. Mom: I haven't seen them. Calvin: (with glasses, to Dad) Calvin, go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!