The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

What state do you live in? Denial.

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.

There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!

The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!

You never know when some crazed rodent with cold feet could be running loose in your pants.