I must follow the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.

CALVIN: When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.

I'M SIGNIFICANT!!! ... Say's the dust speck.

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I've been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications - the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!