Tomorrow we'll not only seize the day, we'll throttle it.
Dad: Honey, have you seen my glasses? I can"t find them. Mom: I haven't seen them. Calvin: (with glasses, to Dad) Calvin, go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!
I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.
I'm crying because out there he's gone, but he's not gone inside me.
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?