Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

You can draw a penguin on a toilet reading The New York Times and it's adorable, but try doing it with an adult male character, and it's disgusting.

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.

As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone. -Hobbes

Tomorrow we'll not only seize the day, we'll throttle it.