I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.

Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I'm doing is saying I can be bribed.

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement.

I write separately from the inking up. I'm sure this varies from cartoonist to cartoonist; I find that the writing is the hard part and the drawing is the fun part.

I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

Mothers are the necessity of invention.

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.