You never know when some crazed rodent with cold feet could be running loose in your pants.

I can never enjoy Sundays, because in the back of my mind I always know I've got to go to school the next day. It's like trying to enjoy your last meal before the execution.

I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.

Calvin: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us? Hobbes: I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.

Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.

I'm a misunderstood genius.