The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.
Few things are less comforting than a tiger who's up too late.
Even when you look for it, you're never prepared for it.
Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I'm cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper!