Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I'm doing is saying I can be bribed.

Sleepwalking?" "Nightmare?" "Homicidal psycho jungle cat!

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.

I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.