Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers! Calvin: I just don't test well.

Mom and Dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in... But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.

Paul Gauguin asked, "Whence do we come? What are we? Where are we going?" Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I came from my room, I'm a kid with big plans, and I'm going outside! See ya later!.. Say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin anyway?

I'M SIGNIFICANT!!! ... Say's the dust speck.

I've got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it.