Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers! Calvin: I just don't test well.

I chose to tell the story visually, so that anyone of any age, from any country, could understand it.

Hee hee hee! You should've seen the look on your face!" "If mom and dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles.

I can never enjoy Sundays, because in the back of my mind I always know I've got to go to school the next day. It's like trying to enjoy your last meal before the execution.