I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

Buttons ... check. Dials ... check. Switches ... check. Little colored lights ... check.

My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.

Although I'm certainly glad cartoons are finally getting some respect as an art, I'm fairly ambivalent to see cartooning as a legitimate academic offering. If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

I was offered a job at the Cincinnati Post as their editorial cartoonist in a trial six month arrangement. The agreement was that they could fire me or I could quit with no questions asked if things didn't work out during the first few months. Sure enough, things didn't work out, and they fired me, no questions asked.

Mom and Dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in... But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.