Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper!

I'd hate to have a kid like me.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

Cleveland is a really hard place, it's a very creative place, it feeds you creatively, but it's a very hard place to make a living creatively.

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Although I'm certainly glad cartoons are finally getting some respect as an art, I'm fairly ambivalent to see cartooning as a legitimate academic offering. If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.