There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else"

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.

Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.

Don't die until you're dead.

I don't aim to offend.