Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.

I've always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I'm where I belong.

American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head -- supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.

When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?