Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.

Without arts programmes there's only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting on?"

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.

If you give people a chance, they shine.

The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.