I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
I was brought up as a Catholic. I've got A-level guilt.
A fart is just your arse applauding.
My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.