Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.

Sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally, I think its bollocks!!

Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.

Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.

I loathe hecklers. I haven't got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone. There's an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it's a different venue.

What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?

I'm not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.