It's my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.

Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.

Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time.

There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.