Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.

Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day.

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.

If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.