,000 people in Hampden Park. Of course they're all Scottish. Because no one else goes there. The English have an unwritten rule: they only go to places they might get back from.

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.

I don't aim to offend.

I can't believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.