I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket.

When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.

Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.

When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?

Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, "Did you fall?" He said, "No, I'm tryin' to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket."

Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.