I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.

Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.

Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.

What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?

I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can't fly

I don't understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I'm amazed what people come up with when they look at them. There's one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.