Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!

Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.

Don't die until you're dead.

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"

Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.

I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little.

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.